Today is my birthday and all I got was a root canal. Funny thing is, as my wife pointed out to me earlier, it wasn’t even on my list.

OK, so maybe I’m jumping the gun. Maybe the throbbing pain in my tooth that will send me to the dentist in a few hours will not lead to a root canal. As you know this column is written a few days before it ends up in your hands. So, really, there’s no telling what will happen. However, I would like everyone to know that I am writing through the pain. I am the column-writing version of Willis Reed and this space is the New York Knicks. You are welcome.

I wanted to write somthing prolific here, since this is my birthday and my column doesn’t actually come out on my birthday very often. I would like to impart some sort of wisdom to the world that the past 39 years have given me (yes, I am that old, and 10 years ago I thought that was really old. No telling what next year’s birthday will bring.) but I have no wisdom to give. Well, maybe I have a little, go to the dentist more frequently than I do. This toothache is really more than anyone should have to tolerate. You see what I mean? It’s hard to write something prolific and life-changing when you feel like you want to rip the side of your face off.

Thus, I was forced to go shopping for topics.

My wife told me I should write out an application to be the new head football coach at Notre Dame. I thought that was kind of a funny idea. Not so much the column, but the idea of me coaching Notre Dame. I wonder if I would like them more if I were actually the coach of the team? Probably not. I’d probably figure out new and interesting ways to lose just so I could keep the program down. Thus, I suppose that topic is officially off the table.

I came up with the idea I should compile a list of my 10 favorite athletes who have played during my life. Roger Staubach and Dwight Evans ended up tied for first. Jim Harbaugh, Dan Fouts, Bucky Richardson and Mike Singletary were on there as well. It was strange, not one basketball player came to mind. Eventually I gave up thinking about it, although, don’t be surprised to see this topic come up at a later time and date.

My final though was, and I’m not kidding, to repeat to you the ADA’s stance on proper dental care. Brush, floss and go see your dentist for regular cleanings every six months. Err, somthing like that. You get the idea though. Don’t end up like me and I tell you this because I care. (Hey, are you thinking what I’m thinking? I could end up becoming some sort of dental spokesman after all this is said and done! Career change and moderate fame, here I come!)

Well folks, I have done it. I have filled up this space. I guess I’m off to see about getting this tooth fixed now. I know it’s not the ideal way to spend your birthday but those are the breaks I suppose. You don’t always get what you want; sometimes you get what you need. Mick Jagger said that I believe. At this point it seems like he was right.

And who knows, maybe when I get home my wife will have whipped up a liquid birthday cake I can drink through a straw.