Local family continues on after passing of wife, mother

By Rebecca Lackie

Special to the Pflag

For many, strength is measured in bulk. Cartoon images of Super Man or other superheroes may come to mind.

Yet for some, strength comes in a more passive form. For some, strength can show itself in one’s quiet, peaceful resolve in the midst of difficult circumstances. For some, true strength is the ability to find the joy in any situation and let it flow outward toward others.

When friends remember Rose Yanya Binyi, a local resident who passed away in a tragic car accident on March 7, they think of this very type of strength.

“I could tell you that even at the worst times… even at those times when she should have had worries and tears, her faced just beamed,” explained Judith Jones, Vicar of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church and personal friend of Binyi. “I think she was – almost organically – a joyful person.”

Rose’s husband, Michael Kilongson, remembers Rose as a shy, private person.

“She was very protective of her family. She loved her family so much,” Kilongson replied with a smile.

Yet what is probably makes Rose’s death the most difficult for her family is that she and her husband thought they were finally living the dream after enduring a series of nightmares.

After working as a reporter in his hostile native country of Sudan, Kilongson spent months enduring horrendous torture, a result of his blatant refusal to rebut the stories he wrote about the terror that was happening in Sudan. Regardless of what Kilongson endured, he adamantly believed that the world should know the truth about Sudan. However shortly before Kilongson was believed to be executed, he was visited in prison by a Bishop bishop who was also the uncle of Rose, the woman who would later become Kilongson’s wife.

Shortly after the bishop’s visit, Kilongson was temporarily released and fled to Uganda, where he was assisted by the Red Cross and finally found passage to Houston. It was there that Kilongson finished his college education and began working in information technology.

Later, Kilongson moved to Austin where he married Rose and started his family, which now consists of himself and his two boys Jude, 8, and Edward, 3, who are also trying to deal with Rose’s death.

“It’s a great tragedy and pretty horrifying,” says said Kilongsonn, who has already endured more than his share of horror. “It’s the most difficult thing that one can experience in one’s lifetime. It knocks you out completely.”

Yet Kilongson says that the most difficult part of the whole experience is coming into the same house and seeing that a person is missing. Kilongson often sits in his home and remembers the good times, the times – simple times such as when he’d be outside cutting the grass and would see Binyi in the window making oatmeal and tea and making sure that everything was taken care of.

He also remembers the times when the whole family would get season tickets to Six Flags, go visit NASA in Houston or go spend a lazy Sunday in Galveston.

“I don’t like doing those things now,” says Kilongson.

Now-a-days, Kilongson spends his time trying to fill the holes left by his wife’s absence, holes that t his children can’t understand.

“Jude has changed. He’s become more responsible. Now whenever Edward gets too loud Jude says, ‘Shhh! Don’t disturb mom. She’s resting in heaven,” Kilongson said.

Now Kilongson, who recently began temporary work with the U.S. Census Bureau,  is trying to figure out how to raise two boys and pay funeral expenses with little income. Before Rose’s accident, Kilongson was on unemployment. However, with two emotional children at home who don’t want to be left with strangers, Kilongson is finding it even harder to find work to support his family.

Kilongson says that his church has been generous and even helped pay to return Rose’s remains to her mother in her native Sudan. However, Kilongson’s church, having a membership of only 30-40 people, are finding that Kilongson’s plight is more of a financial burden than they can handle alone. At this point, the expenses outweigh their ability to provide assistance.

In spite of all of the obstacles that have come his way, Kilongson says that he is a man of faith, and that he knows that God will help get him through it all.

“I have learned so much,” Kilongson explained calmly. “Rose has died, but also has lived.”

For details on aiding th Kilongson family, contact St. Paul’s Episcopal Church at (512) 990-1350 or go to stpaulspfl.org.