By S. R. Brown

Guest columnist

Last night I had an extremely vivid dream. I was at the grocery store checkout, making small talk with the cashier as he rang up my goods. When it came time to pay, I handed over my debit card; after a few moments he said, “Sorry, your card has been rejected. Can you provide any other form of payment?” Horrified yet resourceful, I tried to work out an installment plan with the store to where they would get their money, I would get my food, and everyone would be satisfied.

Obviously, this is a non-viable option at my neighborhood H-E-B in “Awake Town.”

I’m not exactly sure how my plan worked out, because I woke up at the crucial moment (isn’t that always the way?). As I lay there in bed clutching my head, two things immediately occurred to me: 1. I’ve already been through the first part of this story (last week; thanks to my inexact checkbook balancing methods) and 2. OK, it’s not just my inexact checkbook balancing methods; it’s my dismal fiscal reality… and I’d better come up with a solution a tad more down to earth in than the one conjured in my dreams!

There’s no hiding from this fact. I recently read an article headline one morning in the New York Times that gave me a start from absolute recognition: “Entrepreneur or Unemployed?” The piece was about (apparently many) people who are contractors in their professional field; not because they truly want “freedom and flexibility,” but because they simply cannot find full-time employment.

This fits my situation to a “T”. While I’m technically “underemployed” (meaning, “officially working part-time when full-time would be awesome”), I am one of those who both moonlights and “mid-afternoonlights” as I can to try to keep the specialized professional skills fresh and food on the table, all the while applying for jobs in my field and facing hiring freezes, numerous “no thanks” and other assorted dead ends.

I have been at this since I left a marketing management job for Africa in October 2007 (as I mentioned in my last column), coming back in December of that year just as our great recession began, by all official accounts.

I was mentally and financially set for 12-16 months of low to no income, which I thought was realistic; I had no idea that I’d be looking at nearly three years of such.

As you may surmise, planning on being “manageably broke” for one year and now heading into three … I’m simply not making enough to keep up with my mortgage and other bills – a hard place to arrive for a stridently independent and self-sufficient person who always lived below my means and maintained a savings cushion (a benefit of growing up poor and not wanting to be so as an adult).

I haven’t learned all my lessons from the latter, though. I’m somewhat embarrassed to say that, to this moment, I’ve rationalized avoidance of adding another fixed hour part-time job to my work roster because it might interfere with the potential for full-time job interviews and contract work. However, holding on to “potential” (and pride, if I’m honest) is not enough any more; the “new normal” appears to be a bit unforgiving, even in a more optimal economy such as we have here in Texas.

As per Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity regarding “… doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” I can’t keep on thinking, wishing and hoping for the old fiscal normal anymore. And willful insanity: Not an option!

But a paradigm shift … now that’s an option that I’m finally coming around to. Taking charge of the solution involves switching my idealism into low gear; realism into high – even just for awhile.

Living in the moment – appreciating what I am learning in my existing jobs – is something I have to remind myself to do. I will also have to work an additional job for the indefinite future, and I must like the idea! Full-time work may come with time and resumé submissions, but I simply can’t count on that for the time being.

Another radical change: Two of my brothers just finished up on their lease in June, so we decided to consolidate under one roof, as they needed to work out their fiscal salvation as well.

An important point to note is that none of us are in our 20s anymore, so we weren’t all that delighted with recreating a communal living arrangement from our youth: Been there, survived that. As oft said in childhood, though: “Tough noogies – deal!”

Despite it all, this story isn’t all doom and gloom. A paradigm shift can lead to innovation in industry (e.g., Kodak finally accepting the digital photography world and partnering with Wal-Mart on photo CDs) and for me, perhaps, renovation of the ol’ heart. I’m still here despite some serious setbacks; am relatively young, and am learning a few things about myself and life that I’ve missed while cocooned in financial comfort for the 15 years prior to my current situation.

Such as: My brothers are both away this week and I miss not hearing the surround sound system booming away in the living room while I’m trying to learn Swahili in my bedroom (a language I hope to use in one of those future roles). It’s annoying, sure, but a sign of life other than my own.

I’d also inherited two cats with the arrival of one brother, and a puppy named Rosie from the other. The former creatures “enhance” my allergies, but Rosie – soulful of eye and slack of jowl, with the smile of the Joker and ears like origami envelopes – mirrors back my positive attributes (“You’re here! You love me!”) that aren’t immediately visible to me while I’m mulling my negatives. As her occasional caretaker, focusing on her needs is a worthwhile (and fun!) distraction from the complications of my own.

I have a new nephew as of this past Valentine’s Day. Facebook friends viewing my profile picture can see in an instant that he’s a little ray of sunshine in my life.

I love swimming in my community pool, a free source of exercise and Vitamin D, as is also a walk around the increasingly well-developed Lake Pflugerville.

I still volunteer on Kenya projects, which pay intangibly in numerous ways.

My family and friends have “been there” beyond measure. From thoughtful cards, a check or a chocolate orange in the mail to coffee or happy hour and a chat, I’ve learned to appreciate the gift of time and aid from loved ones. These gifts continue to give in my darkest hours.

And, despite recent ideological struggles with religion, I truly believe that God is there.

Another useful moment occurred in a recent community meeting on the subject of our country’s financial situation.

One of the audience members made an agitated statement to the speaker about how the government was “giving people the runaround” about the state of the economy, and how “no one could depend on economic indicators” to make any plans. I remember shaking my head and thinking, “Sir, the state of my bankbook is my only true economic indicator, and maybe we should all just do whatever is necessary (within the bounds of decency and morals, natch) to keep our respective fiscal ships afloat for now…’kay?”

I couldn’t upstage the speaker with my words, but… with this concept, in combination with my scary dream (based on scary reality), I’m finally reconciled to the “new normal.” If I keep on task, take time to walk the Rosie, soak in the Vitamin D, and appreciate my friends and family, I just may make it after all.

Welcome to my personal Economic Recovery Act.

S.R. Brown lives in Pflugerville and is a marketing consultant.